I've been thinking a lot lately about what it would be like to live life totally alone. I guess not totally alone, humans need interaction to survive. But what if you just had those day to day acquaintances, people you never fully got to know, like or dislike, love or hate. At times I think life would be easier that way. You wouldn't have to worry about being enough for someone. smart enough. cute enough. just all together enough. You wouldn't have to worry about disappointing someone. Unintentional broken hearts.
But then I thought that those relationships, even the difficult ones, are the ones that save our lives. I would rather constantly struggle maintaining a relationship than not having one at all. I use to say that Love Is Above All. Somewhere along the line I got scared. Somewhere along the line I decided that being alone was better than being hurt. Certain people have shown me, though, that being alone, pushing people away, shutting people out of your life, will not make you any happier.
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it is natural human desire to push people out when we are scared. i did it then. i do it now. I push out the good and bring in the bad because it is easier to hate myself than to love myself. to know that it isn't the half full or half empty glass but what is in the glass that truely matters will give me motivation to fill it with positive instead of everything else the world throws at me. Keeping that positive isn't easy either, everyday i have to break the old glass and start all over because the negative has found it's way back in.. again. The power lies within you to do the same, I know this because you are stronger than I ever have been.
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